Monday, January 28, 2008

20 Things That Will Happen In 2008

(dicilok from

1 English football clubs continue to be a must-have fashion accessory for rich Americans as Paris Hilton takes control of Portsmouth. Harry Redknapp denies it will affect anything, telling Sky’s Geoff Shreeves to, ‘Talk the to the hand cos the face ain’t listenin’ girlfriend.’

2 For the test series against New Zealand, the England cricket team solve their wicket-keeping crisis by playing Scott Carson behind the stumps. On his debut, Scott takes some great catches but sadly his kicking lets him down.

3 West Ham’s injury jinx continues as Dean Ashton gets a nasty paper cup from the match programme, sidelining him for six weeks

4 English clubs go on red alert when US based Becks announces “I’m ready to up sticks”. Though it turns out he’s just talking about a planned night in with wife Victoria.

5 The mystery of why Arsenal matches never clash with a Grand Prix is finally solved when its’s revealed that Theo Walcott and Lewis Hamilton are indeed one and the same person.

6 At last an Englishman is discovered who regularly sticks the ball in the net at big tournaments. Unfortunately he turns out to be our Number 1 tennis player at Wimbledon.

7 Andre Shevchenko joins Derby on loan. Chelsea insist on a clause in Sheva’s contract that states that he must play against them in the clubs’ forthcoming clash.

8 More Easter misery for West Ham. Kieran Dyer cuts his gum on a sharp bit of Toblerone and could be out until next Christmas.

9 Sir Alex Ferguson unveils a new goal celebration – ditching the ‘pissed uncle skipping towards the dance floor at a wedding’ routine in favour of a dramatic ‘Mourinho knee-slide’

10 Reading win two in a row and medics are called to the Madjeski Stadium after Steve Coppell cracks his face in two attempting a smile.

11 Following Fulham’s relegation, Mohammed Al Fayed consoles himself by buying a new outfit – Leyton Orient.

12 Jens Lehmann shaves his head bald – thus ensuring less friction when he finally disappears up his own arse.

13 Sir Alex Ferguson launches his own skincare range called Laboratoire GrandMarnier.

14 WBO title holder Joe Calzaghe announces plans to fight for the WBA – making West Brom officially the hardest team in the Championship.

15 Just when you thought he couldn’t get any more unpopular, Steve McClaren becomes manager of Germany. And wins Euro 2008.

16 Cappello gets sacked and a new England manager is unveiled. With his swarthy good looks and indepth knowledge of the English game, it’s the people’s choice known as the special one - Jeff Stelling!

17 Wigan’s Titus Bramble starts taking to the field holding a big white circle around himself, saving Andy Gray and Alan Hansen the bother.

18 Arsene Wenger approaches every club in a desperate attempt to improve his squad. Unfortunately, he still can’t find anyone to take Phillipe Senderos off his hands.

19 In an attempt to spice up the FA Cup draw, the balls are replaced by numbered bikini clad babes who are plucked out of a foam filled pool at random. The idea is based on Saturday nights at Cristiano Ronaldo’s house.

20 Bolton finally string three passes together. No hang on, that’s just a bit too far-fetched.

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Wednesday, January 23, 2008


apek: itu potong zaka ada bagut ka ?
ali : manyak bagut..bila lu potong haa lu punya barang manyak bersih loo..
apek:?!! err..saya kawan ada cakap,potong zaka aaahh.. manyak ploblem..
ali : apa probrem ?
apek:manyak buang lui..lagi aahh..dia punya performance tatak bagut..
manyak cinang semputloh..
ali : cehh.. apek, lu apa celita.. saya suda lama potong..
tada apa problem.. bini saya manyak puas woo..
apek:lu mini puas sama itu potong zaka ka?
ali : ya la.. bila lu potong aahh.. lagi sedap maen woo..
lu lagi lambat pancut..
apek:???!!! punya 1.3 atau 1.5 ??
ali : ??!! woi apek cakap baik2 sikit ha.. saya punya 6 incila..
apek:??! *** nia ma.. lu jgn maen2 haa.. mana ada potong zaka 6 inci..
ali : cilaka apek ni..nah tengok ( bukak sluar tunjuk pale butoh..)
apek: chee sin punya olang..gua tanya baik2 lu tunjuk lu punya lancau..
ali : abis.. lu tarak percaya..saya tunjuk la..
apek: saya tatak tanya sama lu punya lancau..
saya tanya lu pasal itu nasional car.. potong zaka..
molo punya olang..
ali : aiya.. apek.. lain kali lu sebut betul2 la..kasi susa saja..
bukan potong zaka la.. proton saga.. cinabeng btulla..

gilababi dh boring n xdek kje..

Saturday, January 12, 2008

Monday, January 07, 2008

health minister n sex tape..

y im writing dis? bcoz boring cuti n xtau nk buat ape...
baca here n here... menarik gile..

but one thing we can learn about this case: malaysia currently lacks of politicians yg JUJUR..


eventhough its hard to tell which johor politician is in the sex clip, it doesnt take long for the health minister to make a public statement that that person was him.

at the same time, the suruhanjaya diraja hardly make any progress on the investigation on other earlier clip. they might be waiting some more evidence from kazakhstan or from the black sea seabed. evidences are really hard to find nowadays. kesian sama polis.

"Mothers all want their sons to grow up to be President, but they don't want them to become politicians in the process" -one US president-

Tuesday, January 01, 2008



mission 1: be at elder park b4 midnight

destinasi: elder park.
motif: tgk bunge api
pengangkutan collinswood-elder park: kaki masing2
ahli expedisi: aku, mong n pokcek
time start jalan: 2300
time sampai: 2345

apsal kat elder park?

sbb diorg letupkan jambatan.. so taun depan dak2 OV perlu carik laluan alternative r utk ke city.

komen: boring nk mampos...

mission 2: glenelg

destinasi: glenelg r..huh
motif: tgk org n menghirup udara laut
pengangkutan city-glenelg: trem
ahli expedisi: aku, mong n pokcek
time start jalan: 0115
time sampai: 0200

komen: lebih ramai org, lebih byk polis, lebih byk org gaduh n lebih byk sampah!

0300: naik bas glenelg-city
0345: naik bas city-collinswood


sekian. 2007 well wasted.

* public transport adelah free selepas pkl 12 tgh mlm sehingge pkl 4pg. terimakasih adelaidemetro.